Anyone who knows me knows I love a good story. The excitement, the drama, the resolution… there are days I live for it. Throw in some historical education and I am in hook, line, and sinker. You never know what’s going to happen. You anticipate the plot twists and feel proud when they happen and surprised when they don’t. You cry happy tears or sob, brokenhearted at tragic endings. Sometimes you can’t wait for the storyline to end and other times you wish it would go on forever.

My life is a good story. There are thrilling moments and portions of time I’d sooner forget, even though they had to happen for the storyline to play out.

I used to be a person who lived with a lot of regrets. I dwelled on the woulda, coulda, shouldas of life. So I made a conscious decision about 15 years ago to not regret things. To not wish that I could go back and change anything. Because everything has brought me to where I am.

Is my life perfect? Of course not. But I know that my life is one that someone else is dreaming of right now. The home I’ve made with my children. The circle of friends I have curated. The experiences that fill my mind when I close my eyes and think back. All of those things are priceless and irreplaceable.

It’s easy to say things like this when life is good. When you are not overwhelmed with stress or worry. When you’ve had a good meal and a decent night’s sleep. Remembering this when you want to crawl under the covers, hide from the world and curse the next person to look at you… that takes a different mindset. And that kind of mindset takes time to build into your regular lifestyle. It’s not something that just happens.

I always tell people that the first step to making a change is recognizing what actually needs to change.

Do you need new friends? Or do you need to adjust the way you react to your friends?

Do you need a new job? Or do you need to embrace the positive things and let go of what you can’t control?

Do you need to become a new person? Or do you need to appreciate who you already are, acknowledge what you’ve been through and commit to showing yourself more love going forward?

So often, the women I work with think that they know exactly what needs to happen in their life. But when we start digging a little deeper, they realize that the real issue is very different than what they thought. Sometimes it’s more complicated. Sometimes it’s so simple it feels like cheating.

Where you want to go requires knowing where you currently are. But you REALLY need to know where you are. No sugar coating, and no pointless self deprecation. Taking an honest assessment is the first step. And letting go of what has happened before today because the past ended last night. It’s time to move forward. Are you ready?