Isolation: My First, Big, Bright Red Warning Signal

I can remember watching shows when I was a kid where a robot or some other form of artificial intelligence could warn the main characters that they were in danger or that things were, in general, no ok. 

Think: Danger, Will Robinson!

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I have my own internal sense of danger that alerts me when things are off or when life has taken a negative turn. 

In 2012, I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My personal history of anxiety attacks and depressive states is no secret. I have made an effort to be very upfront about my journey in the hopes that other people who read my story can relate and don’t feel so alone. 

But one of the major things that I’ve learned over the years is that I am capable of sensing danger on my own by paying attention to how I’m feeling in certain situations and watching my behaviors. In short, I am learning to tune into and trust my gut.

One things I’ve noticed over this past, insane, unbelievable year, isolation tends to be my first warning sign that I’m not ok. 

I’m not talking about staying in and reading on a Friday night because that’s what you want to do. I’m talking about staying in to AVOID being out. 

As an introvert, there can be a fine line between self-care and isolation, but I know, deep down, when I’ve crossed it. 

I have become a student of my own behaviors and I know that if I go more than two days without leaving the house (even just for a walk), I’m not in a good place. I know that when I cancel plans needlessly, something is up. I’ll take some time to dissect the problem and then figure out how to fix it and move forward. 

In a world where “quarantine” is a normal part of everyday speech, this can be tricky. But that’s where my gut comes in. I can do a quick check in with my self and identify if I’m isolating or just taking a break (which is a huge distinction).

Isolation, for me, leads to a lot of bigger problems down the road and that’s why I pay close attention to it. By identifying it early, I have been able to ward off bigger problems and avoid major meltdowns. I’m not perfect at it by any means, but I’m getting there. And progress is all I can ask for.