The Words

Most of the time when I sit down to write, I don’t know what is going to come on the screen. I just start typing and the words come out of me. There are times when no words come, but most of the time something forms from the jumbled thoughts that are flying through my head on a regular basis.

It’s actually a bit ironic that this is the case because I am a total planner. I love to plan everything. But when it comes to my writing, I have learned to just let it happen.

Don’t get me wrong. There are times I know exactly what I’m going to write. There is a plan and I carry it out. Maybe there is a specific project that I’m working on, or a particular topic I feel needs to be on the blog, but most of the time, I have no idea. I just sit and write.

Why does this happen? Because I’ve learned to listen to myself. Because I have figured out how I best operate in this circumstance. Self awareness is a beautiful thing. But it takes time and patience, two things I used to tell myself I don’t have a lot of. I know now that was a story I was telling myself. So I started telling myself a different story. And when major things started to change in my life, I found other stories in my head that were no longer serving me and wrote a new edition.

Since I’ve been living with the new stories, my life is significantly better. I still have those voices that tell me something negative or lead me to believe that something is bad when it actually isn’t. These are limiting beliefs. I have had a lot of them. I still have some, but a lot less than before. I doubt there will ever come a time when I don’t have any, but that gives me something to work on (so at least I can never say I’m bored).

So, I continue sitting at my laptop, typing and seeing what comes up. There will always be more. I will never run out of words (even though I used to be afraid that I would… another limiting belief that I’ve worked on) and I will continue to see what appears on the screen.

So far, so good.